You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

I often hear people complaining about having to go running, or exercising, or to the gym. I know, because I just might be one of those people. However, my New Year's Resolution is to never, ever complain about running or exercising again. My reason began in September, when I was training for a half marathon. (By training, I mean I was a complete slacker and ran a few long runs.) However, when I did run, it felt like someone was taking a knife and slashing it into my knee. After running, my leg would give out on me, and I couldn't even turn over in bed without it hurting. I stopped all physical activity, and pleasantly my knee felt better. However, there comes a point when you have to move again, and so I set up an appointment with a nearby orthopedic.

They took an x-ray and that big screw from my ACL reconstruction was still nicely attached. I breathed a sigh of relief. They sent in a P.A., he moved my leg around, looked at the x-ray and said it all seemed fine. Which should have caused me to breathe out another sigh of relief, except for the memory of my leg giving out on me and nearly falling over as I tried to get up from sitting on a plane. Or the memory of a knife slashing into my knee. So, I shared these vivid memories with him. He didn't seem phased and started to tell me all about all of the people who are just fine and have little tears in their knee. He said that was probably my problem. I don't think I looked convinced, so he started telling me about jeans. Yep, jeans that you wear. He explained how when you have a pair of jeans for a very long time, they just naturally rip because they are so old, but you still wear them because they just have a little tear. I was very confused at the meaning of this story because I am not 80 years old. I think I even turned around just to make sure that there wasn't some old person in the room that he was really talking to. However, he really was talking to me, and I left with no questions answered, but a clean bill of health to do what ever physical activity I wanted.

So, I ran, and the knife slasher, leg giving away came back. So I did what I should have done in the first place, and I called the doctor who did my ACL surgery and scheduled an appointment. I may have had to drive a lot farther away, but it was worth it. When I told him the jean story , he said he was going to immediately call and tell them how ridiculous that story was. I nodded emphatically. I was feeling so vindicated, that I forgot that this must mean there was a much bigger problem. He quickly looked at the x-ray and then moved my knee and it jumped. He stared at me and asked me if I felt it. I did. He shook his head and said, "Well unfortunately the graft is gone." My head was swirling, "Graft, graft." Then I knew. My hamstring used in the reconstruction was now gone, torn, stretched, gone. I wasn't quite sure this was really happening when he continued, "Yeah, that is the bad news, but the good news is I had a cancelation for tomorrow, we could do surgery then." I was speechless and unable to come in the next day, or for that matter until March. He put me under strict orders to not run, twist, turn, yeah, pretty much move. (But I can bike, thank heavens for that.) During music, I tried showing the boys a choreography move and about tipped over, so I've decided this is serious business. Which leads me back to my New Year's Resolution, and I am serious I will never, ever complain about the amazing ability to run or exercise again.