It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

I had to share this story, it is one of my favorite crazy ones of the year. It started like this. . . In September, I had tickets to the General Relief Society Conference, so I invited a couple of friends, and we took the new train downtown. It was a wonderful conference, and afterward we set out to meet some friends for Lebanese food at a restaurant we had heard about.

We began walking and talking, but the closer we got to the restaurant the more I began rubbing my eyes and squinting. Finally, we all stopped, stared, and turned around looking for a candid camera. Seriously, any downtown brings out all different kinds of people, bless them all. You see people dressed in crazy clothes, or not a lot of clothes, but this was definitely something I was not prepared to see. All around us masses of people only clothed in their underwear emerged. I'm not kidding about the masses, I'm not talking about one or two people, I'm talking about people everywhere. They started pointing and laughing at us. Seriously, "the underwear people" as I like to call them started pointing and laughing at us. They affectionately called us the "clothes people." The closer we got to the restaurant, the closer we got to Gallivan Center and the home of the "underwear people" and their event. You see, the had an undie run. Yep, people of all shapes and sizes (I mean all) came downtown and ran to the capitol. They donated their clothes to the homeless and were running for all different causes, and to tell the leaders of Salt Lake, not to get their undies in a bunch. At least that is what I heard echoing from across the street. Now I think it is great idea to run for a cause, give clothes to the homeless, and they sure got attention, however, I personally have a hard time taking people who are only wearing underwear seriously, umm . . . . . .that and I'm a pretty big fan of modesty. One guy stopped us and asked me if I didn't feel awkward for having so many clothes on. He was wearing undies and the head of a wolf draped on his head and shoulders, It's true, I know because that is all I felt comfortable looking at. Seriously, the head of a wolf.

Gratefully, we rushed into the restaurant happy to find our friends and other people fully clothed. We were momentarily distracted from all of the craziness by the delicious smell of food, only to be brought back to reality by the clanging of music and the jingling of a belly dancer. Seriously, what are the odds? The food was delightful, I'm not going to lie about that, but it took about 3 hours to eat, not an exaggeration. (I know I tend to exaggerate, but this really is the truth.) And perhaps it seemed even longer because of the jingling of the belly dancer, and the fact that one of my friends couldn't stop sneezing, coughing, and wiping her eyes, or that my other friend couldn't eat and just sat and watched us, or it might have been the "delightful view" of the street and people prancing around in their undies.

As soon as our bill was paid, we ran hoping to catch the last train home. This caused us to run straight through the plaza/home base of the "underwear people" who giggled at our clothes, and called us the "conference people." It was definitely a new experience to be made fun of for wearing clothes. Luckily, we squeezed our way onto the full train, only to have two of the "underwear people" squeeze in next to us. If I were making a list, this would be reason number 17 why you should wear clothes. So awkward, so uncomfortable. Then this guy spoke to his girlfriend, "Man, we had to hop on this train, that guy out there was crazy." His girlfriend adamantly agreed, and at this moment my roommate and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing at this comment from two people wearing only tiny, sparkly underwear. I guess crazy is in the eye of the beholder. However, I quickly turned away and thought of something sad because with only underwear on I could see his muscles and didn't want to get pounded. We then focused on the screen and realized the last train to our stop had already left and this would only drop us off halfway. I honestly, couldn't stop laughing at this point. Gratefully, we had our cellphones and called a friend to pick us up. As the train bounced along, my friend continued to sneeze and cough, and I just kept on giggling. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up, nope it doesn't get any better than this.